Tina
Tina, a mother of two, states that she finds it difficult to parent her three year old son. She acknowledges that her son looks exactly like his father - her abuser - and says that there are times when she worries that her son might become abusive toward her when he gets older. Tina feels terrible and wonders how her history of domestic violence impacts her relationship with her son.
Camisha sees other moms in her circle of friends enjoying breastfeeding and their relationship with their babies. She understands the importance of breastfeeding her daughter, but says she finds breastfeeding a very distressing experience. She wonders how her history of childhood sexual abuse has played a role in this.
Farah, a mother of three, knows she needs assistance in gaining skills to better parent her children. She has seen the effects domestic violence has had on her children and herself, but says that everytime she’s tried to join a parenting group, she’s left feeling as though no one in the group could relate to her struggles.
These are some of the moms in our Mothers in Mind program at Child Development Institute. They all find parenting challenging, and all have experienced traumatic events in their lives.
Mothers in Mind is a ten-week group for moms (of children 0-4) who have experienced domestic violence or other trauma and worry about whether this may be affecting their own experiences of parenting and their relationship with their young children. Mothers in Mind is a group that focuses on parenting within a context of trauma and on strengthening the relationship between mother and child. For example, moms learn how violence impacts their parenting and how violence may also be affecting their children's thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
“Traditional parenting groups don’t address the specific issues of trauma and how it shapes parenting,” says M.E. Leroy, Child and Family Clinician. “Because of their experiences, these moms often have very specific needs.”
The group, led by two facilitators, is interactive and is made up of mothers and their children together. Topics cover a range of themes, including sensitivity building, child-led play, child development, safety and stress management.
“The group aspect is important, because many of these women have been socially isolated due to their past trauma,” says M.E. “But it is the interactive piece - the individual work and interactions between the facilitators, the mothers and their children - that makes Mothers in Mind different from other groups.”
This program is also different, because it focuses on infants - children under four years of age. This is critical, because we know the importance of early child development and of getting involved with children as early as possible.
“When you become a mother, it is assumed that you will instinctively know how to best parent your child,” says Lisa Sura-Liddell, the Program Coordinator. “But if you had hurtful childhood expereinces, or if you've had violence in your adult life, it can be hard to know what to do in moments of stress. These women are taking strides to give their kids the right start and to make parenting a more positive experience for them. Without Mothers in Mind, their specific needs wouldn't have been addressed.”