Getting a second chance at parenthood
At one o’clock on Monday afternoon, five women, gathered on the couches around a central coffee table, continue the weekly group meeting. They have already had an hour of circle time and interactive play with their children. Now their children are in their own group across the hall, where they’ll take part in structured play and social cognitive activities.
Laurie, the facilitator of the mother’s group, begins with a check-in to see how the week has gone for the women. She then reads an inspirational poem to introduce the week’s topic - building resiliency and hope with children. During the next hour, the group will reflect on the topic, share their experiences and offer support to one another.
This group is part of the Family Reconnection Centre (FRC). For over ten years, the FRC has provided specialized services for mothers who have often been separated from their children because of drug use, but who want to rebuild their relationships with their children.
These moms of young children (0-6) face similar challenges; almost all are in recovery from abuse of substances, such as heroin or crack cocaine; many have faced significant trauma in their lives; many have had involvement with the criminal justice system and have been referred by agencies such as the Children’s Aid Society. The majority of the women who begin the program have children who are not in their care, due to their past drug use.
The FRC helps these moms by providing a family-centred approach that supports mothers striving to achieve family reunification. The program focuses on parenting, coping and other skills needed to provide healthy full-time care for their children. And because the program runs continuously, women can join at any time and receive ongoing support.
“Our approach is unique,” says Cynthia Alutis, the FRC’s Program Manager. “We help moms ‘where they are’ in the process of recovery and family reunification. Moms are not necessarily full-time parents when they arrive. But they are moms who really want to be good parents. We help support them in the steps towards reunification.”
Group discussions focus on monthly themes and areas of concern for the women. For example, recent topics have included identifying and expressing feelings, relapse prevention, building children’s self-esteem and the impact of substance abuse on parenting and relationships. Laurie uses videos, written materials, music and art to help facilitate learning and discussion.
The FRC program not only works to strengthen the bond between parent and child, it focuses on relapse prevention and on reducing social isolation. Peer support is a very important part of this program - participants are supported and encouraged by other members of the group and by program mentors who have successfully reunited with their children and who maintain a drug-free lifestyle.
And the impact of the FRC is significant. It’s estimated that of the women who participate in the program, over 80% keep their children at home - a much higher percent than those who do not participate in the program. The program provides the opportunity to develop stronger and more secure relationships with their children and gain a better knowledge of parenting approaches and strategies. And this gives the women greater confidence and competence as mothers.
“The mothers in our program are like other moms - they love their children and are committed to overcoming significant obstacles to be able to care for their children,”says Cynthia. “Because of their hard work and connection with the FRC, they now have more appropriate coping strategies, a greater understanding of child development and parenting, a comfort level accessing community resources and a network of strong and encouraging women who they can rely on for support.”